COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo.-A plaintive letter asking Jesus "why didn't you ever answer my cries?" was found in the car of a gunman who killed four people at a church and missionary school before committing suicide, police said Wednesday.The unsigned, undated letter is laced with expletives and asks, "Jesus, where are you? Do you even care these days?" KMGH-TV television in Denver reported.The letter was found in the car of Matthew Murray, 24, on Dec. 9 after he killed two people at a missionary training school in suburban Denver and killed two others at New Life Church in Colorado Springs.KMGH said it obtained a copy of the letter from someone close to the investigation but did not identify the person. Colorado Springs police later made the letter public.The 1 1/2-page letter, handwritten on lined paper, sometimes insults God and asks, "Why couldn't you write your (expletive) book more clearly?"It asks "What have I done so wrong? What is wrong with me anyways? Am I really such a bad person?"It concludes, "Am I too lost to be saved? My soul cries for deliverance. I'm dieing (sic), praying, bleeding and screaming. Will I be denied???"Murray had been kicked out of the Youth With a Mission center in Arvada five years before. The center has had an office at New Life.[[Interviews and Murray's Internet postings depict him as a disturbed young man who was bitter about being an outcast, turned against charismatic Christianity and dabbled in other beliefs.]]As in the days of Noah...

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